How Can I Help?

I've been traveling a lot lately. Keynotes, workshops, and organizational culture work have kept me on the road, partnering with leaders and teams on communication, self-awareness, and the kind of culture shifts that actually stick. It's meaningful work!  And it also meant my front yard was largely on its own for a while.

The trees had opinions about that. So did the weeds.

One morning, as I was walking to my car, a man approached me. He was in the landscaping business. He didn't overthink his pitch. He simply pointed at my front yard and said in limited English, with complete confidence, genuine kindness, and zero hesitation, "You need help. I help you."

I laughed out loud and took his card. And honestly, I haven't stopped thinking about it since.

Not because of the landscaping, though, yes, the trees and weeds needed it! But because of what that simple, direct, unselfconscious and thoughtful offer represented. He saw a need. He had something to offer. And he said so.

No lengthy preamble. No waiting to be asked. No hesitation about whether it was his place to bring it up. Just: I see what's needed. I can help. Here I am.

If you've ever watched New Amsterdam, you may remember Max, the hospital's head administrator, who had a habit that was both disarming and powerful. He would walk into a room, any room, any situation, and his first words were simply, "How can I help?"

Not, "Here's what I've decided. Not, "Let me tell you what needs to happen."" Not a performance of authority or expertise. Just a genuine, open, forward-facing offer.

I was always impressed when I saw Max's instinctive approach of, "How can I help?" in each episode and it became a mantra I try to live by. Because leaders aren't always trained to lead with that question. We're often trained to lead with answers. With directives. With already-formed solutions. 

But the leaders who walk in asking how can I help create something different. They create psychological safety. They signal that the people in the room matter. They make it obvious that others have wisdom and insight to be considered.  They make it easier for problems to surface before they become crises. And they model something their teams can learn to do too.

What It Looks Like in Practice

Teaching a team to operate with a "how can I help" mindset doesn't happen by accident. It happens when leaders model it consistently, name it explicitly, and create the conditions where offering help is normal, not performative, not a sign of weakness, not overstepping.

Here are a few ways to build that into your team culture:

1. Lead with the question yourself

Before you solve, ask. Before you direct, inquire. Make "how can I help?" a regular part of your one-on-ones, your team check-ins, and your hallway conversations. When your team hears it from you consistently, it becomes part of the team's vocabulary.

2. Name it as a value

Don't assume your team knows that proactive support is something you expect and celebrate. Say it out loud. "On this team, we notice when someone is stretched and we offer to help. We don't wait to be asked." When it's explicit, it becomes a standard, not just a personality trait of a few.

3. Celebrate it when you see it

When a team member spots a gap and steps in, when they say, without being prompted, "I noticed you were swamped, can I take something off your plate?" Recognize it. Name it. That kind of peer-to-peer support is culture in action, and what gets noticed gets repeated.

4. Remove the fear of overstepping

Sometimes people don't offer help because they're not sure if it's their lane. Leaders can address this directly: "I'd rather you ask and be told 'no thank you' than notice a need and say nothing." Permission matters. Give it clearly.

Reflection Questions

• How often do I walk into a room or a conversation with "how can I help?", and mean it?

• Do my team members proactively support each other, or do they tend to stay in their own lanes?

• Have I explicitly named "offering help" as a team value, or am I hoping it happens organically?

• Where might someone on my team be quietly overwhelmed right now,  and have I asked?

The landscaper wasn't overthinking it. He saw a need. He had something to offer. And he showed up.

That's it. That's the whole model. Imagine a team full of people willing to do the same.

You matter. Especially when you make "how can I help?" the first thing out of your mouth.

If you're looking for support around building culture, communication, and self-aware leadership- through keynotes, workshops, or coaching- we'd love to connect. Sometimes one good conversation changes the whole trajectory.