I talk to many leaders about team challenges. And most of those conversations start the same way: with a list of what the team is doing wrong. But one conversation I had recently was different. This leader didn't blame. They didn't vent. They didn't arrive with a list of everything their team members were doing wrong. Instead, they got quiet. And they turned the lens on themselves. They were asking themselves: Were my directions clear?Do they actually know what I expect?

A leader recently came to me frustrated, not exactly with her team, but with herself. She had been noticing a pattern in her meetings. When certain team members pushed back on her ideas or decisions, she felt an almost immediate internal pull to defend herself. To explain. To justify. To make sure everyone in the room understood why she was right. And she didn't like how it felt - or how she was reacting. To be clear, the issue wasn't the pushback itself. She valued her team

A CEO came to me recently, genuinely puzzled by something she was observing on her team. She had been spending time with her direct reports sharing her vision, big ideas, possibilities, exciting directions the organization could go. For her, these conversations were energizing. She was painting a picture of what could be. She was bringing her team into her thinking. She was, in her mind, being transparent and inspirational. But the response she kept getting didn't match the m

I was driving recently, waiting to turn right on a green light. A pedestrian on the corner was doing that thing pedestrians sometimes do, the half-step forward, half-step back, am I crossing or am I not dance that leaves drivers genuinely unsure what's about to happen. So I waited. A beat. Maybe two. And then the car behind me honked. The first thing I felt was shame. Not road rage. Not irritation. Shame. That immediate, automatic flush of did I do something wrong? Am I the p

A leader came to me recently, and the word they used to describe how they were feeling was confused. But as they kept talking, a clearer picture emerged. They had been working to hold a team member accountable, having direct conversations, naming specific concerns, making clear agreements. The kinds of conversations good leaders are supposed to have. And then something unsettling started happening. Every time the leader referenced a previous conversation, the team member's re

I was on a tech support call not long ago... And let's just say the person on the other end had not attended a communication training with our team. 🙂 She was short. Abrupt. Clearly frustrated. And at one point, in a tone that left very little room for interpretation, she exclaimed, "Ma'am! You're doing it wrong!" I'll be honest, I was caught off guard. There was a moment where I felt the pull to match her energy. To remind her how she was speaking to me. To be equally dire

A leader came to me recently carrying the weight of a situation that had gone further than they expected. They had a team member who wasn't meeting expectations. Not dramatically. Not in one explosive moment. But consistently, across several areas, the performance and behavior gaps were real, and they weren't closing. This leader had done the right things: They had the conversations. They named the concerns clearly. They worked to align on expectations and agreements. They

I recently observed an interaction between two people that I haven't been able to stop thinking about. One person was sharing something difficult. You could tell the emotion it activated to share the details. Their voice carried a little more weight than usual. They were processing something meaningful to them. The other person listened for a moment, but then, with genuine warmth and the best of intentions, jumped in, saying, "Oh, that happened to me too!" And, unfortunately,

I've been traveling a lot lately. Keynotes, workshops, and organizational culture work have kept me on the road, partnering with leaders and teams on communication, self-awareness, and the kind of culture shifts that actually stick. It's meaningful work! And it also meant my front yard was largely on its own for a while. The trees had opinions about that. So did the weeds. One morning, as I was walking to my car, a man approached me. He was in the landscaping business. He di

I recently attended a seminar where I had the privilege of hearing Charles R. Scott speak about the idea of “meaningful discomfort.” The idea wasn’t new to me, but it gave language to something I’ve been aware of for a long time: an unspoken goal I’ve held for myself - to keep pushing just beyond my comfort zone in pursuit of growth, impact, and possibility. And as a leader, to thoughtfully and respectfully support others in doing the same, not by overwhelming them, but by he

I work hard to maintain a positive mindset. Not in a way that ignores reality or pretends life is always easy... but in a way that strengthens my ability to stay emotionally regulated and mentally flexible when things don’t go as planned. And lately, there’s a lot that doesn’t feel predictable. Artificial intelligence is advancing rapidly. Global conflicts have escalated. Our political climate feel charged and uncertain. In moments like this, it’s easy to feel like the world

A leader I spoke with recently shared a situation that many supervisors eventually encounter. One of her team members had begun declining certain work tasks. The employee wasn’t loud or confrontational about it. They simply avoided the work or stated directly that they didn’t like doing those particular responsibilities. The complication? The employee’s role had evolved. The job description had shifted to include new responsibilities the employee didn’t prefer, didn’t feel

Leadership can sometimes feel like walking a balance beam. In my own leadership and supervision work, I am constantly aware of the tension between two things I believe are equally critical: empathy and compassion on one side, accountability and expectations on the other. Get too far to one side and you wobble. Stay there too long and you fall. And yet, both sides are necessary. The goal is never to pick one. It's to learn how to stand on the fulcrum. The Two Sides of the Sc

I spend a lot of time living in this space: The space where two things that appear to be opposed… are actually both true. In leadership, this isn’t a contradiction, it’s a skill. And more specifically, it’s a form of mental flexibility; one of the most important emotional intelligence muscles a leader can develop. When situations get stressful, our brains naturally look for simplicity. We want clarity. We want answers. We want things to fall neatly into categories: Right or

A CEO I spoke with recently shared a situation that had been weighing on her. She had a team member whose expertise she deeply valued. The person was knowledgeable, capable, and contributed important insight to the organization. But something had shifted. The employee had stopped returning greetings in the hallway. In team meetings they were visibly disengaged. And when they did participate, their comments occasionally carried a dismissive or disrespectful tone. None of the m

A leader I spoke with recently had just come through a high-stakes audit. A nyone who has lived through an audit knows the feeling: You prepare. You review systems. You check documentation. You cross your fingers that every process you’ve worked so hard to build will hold up under scrutiny. This leader had done exactly that. Their departments had strong systems in place. Teams were monitoring their work carefully and communicating regularly. Then one question from the audi

Recently a leader confided in me that they were struggling with how to balance the need for compassion and empathy with the need to also maintain expectations and agreements. We discussed how h olding expectations while showing empathy can feel like walking a tightrope. Lean too far one direction and accountability weakens. Lean too far the other and relationships strain. But there’s another layer leaders often overlook. Every relationship operates with an emotional bank a

Internal interviews can be some of the most delicate leadership moments. A role opens. An internal candidate applies. They feel like a shoe-in. They’ve imagined themselves in the position, told themselves a story about what it means, maybe even started planning their next chapter. And then… they aren’t chosen. As leaders, we often sit in the tension of wanting to be honest and protective. There are usually reasons someone wasn’t selected that aren’t appropriate, or helpful,

Of course, we don’t really know what lies ahead. In many ways, the future always carries some uncertainty. But right now, with the rapid acceleration of artificial intelligence, that uncertainty feels particularly visible. AI will absolutely impact the way we work, communicate, and solve problems. What we don’t know is exactly how, when, or to what degree. And because of that, I’ve found myself thinking about a different question lately, "How do we become AI Resilient ?" We

I hear this concern often from leaders: “I don’t want to micromanage… but I also need to know what’s happening.” Ensuring accurate clock-in and clock-out times. Tracking task and project progress. Following up on deadlines and deliverables. Knowing where where and if hybrid staff are actually working. Sometimes, when some leaders work to increase awareness and follow through, some team members cry "Micromanagement!" However, these are not signs of micromanagement, they are s