A leader recently shared a situation that many leaders will recognize.  The leader observed an employee respond dismissively and borderline insubordinately to a request during a large group meeting. Not egregious. Not a policy violation. But clearly disrespectful, and potentially influential, given how many others may have witnessed it.  Including the leader's supervisor.   The leader immediately felt the tension but hesitated on how to address it with her employee, so she di

A new supervisor recently shared a moment that stopped her in her tracks. She was adjusting expectations for her team, adding clarity, increasing accountability, and redistributing tasks to better meet current demands. The changes were reasonable… and necessary. And the response? “We’ve never had to do that before.” It came from the team quickly. Firmly. With more emotion than curiosity. The supervisor felt the pull many leaders feel in moments like this: the urge to explain,

When someone is new to a team, one of their strongest needs is simple: belonging. They’re learning the job, the norms, the unspoken rules. They’re watching closely. And often, the first people who reach out, the ones who offer connection quickly, become their anchor. A professional collegue recently shared a dilemma around this exact dynamic.  A new employee had onboarded and, almost immediately, was befriended by a few team members known for their pessimism, disengagement, a

Every team member should be able to say, with confidence: “ I know what’s expected of me and I have the knowledge or support to accomplish it. ” When team members cannot say this with confidence , frustration grows, misalignment creeps in, and leaders often find themselves correcting behavior that was never fully clarified in the first place. This often seems like a motivation issue, but it's more likely a clarity issue . And clarity is one of the most powerful (and underrate

An executive coaching client recently shared their desire to reset expectations for their team.  They had noticed that, over time, a few things had begun to slip: Some team members were no longer meeting full role expectations in what seemed like complacency. Flexibility that had been provided to team members had slowly turned into expectation. Grace had been mistaken for looseness and the eroding work ethic was showing. Others were showing signs of entitlement and a deterior

There’s been a common theme showing up in my coaching practice lately: the tension between empathy and accountability. Leaders want to be compassionate. Flexible. Human.   At the same time, they’re carrying responsibility for performance, follow-through, and results.  It can feel like standing on a fulcrum, trying to keep the scales balanced.Lean too far toward empathy, and expectations will soften into ambiguity.Lean too far toward accountability, and relationships can begin

A client recently shared how challenging it had become to juggle all the dangling pieces each team member was responsible for. They wanted to be supportive. They wanted to maintain accountability. But their own workload and the constant demands of leadership left little time, or mental bandwidth, to track every moving part. They said, “I know I need to follow up more consistently, but I feel like I’m barely keeping up myself.” I get it. Most leaders do. It's helpful to rememb

I was sitting across from a client recently. She had just received approval to add a new position to her team, something she had been hoping for all year. “This is a big deal,” she said.  “I want to get this right. I need someone who can handle the work, but I also need someone who fits into the team dynamic. Someone who doesn’t drain the team. Someone who shows up with the right energy.  They need knowledge, skill, AND the right disposition. I don’t want to spend the next si

I called a local office supply store because I needed a new printer power cord.   The young person who answered the phone was friendly and eager to help. She asked clarifying questions, placed me on hold, came back for more details, then put me on hold again. This happened several times , her enthusiasm never faltering! Finally, she returned sounding thrilled and triumphant. “Okay! I have good news! We do sell that power cord,” she said, then paused and added, “...but it come

I was recently on a customer service call trying to resolve an issue. The company had fully embraced AI, which meant I was initially stuck in a loop with an automated voice determined to “help.” You know the automated kind: cheerful, efficient, and completely incapable of understanding your actual problem. After multiple failed attempts to explain my situation, I was finally given the option to talk to a person. And what a difference that made! The representative who answere

A client once told me about stepping into a C-suite role after her predecessor retired.   The culture she inherited was remarkably toxic. Her new executive assistant explained that under the previous leader, mornings often began with a quick “pulse check.” If that previous leader seemed tense or irritable, the assistant would quietly walk the halls and whisper to staff,  “It’s not a good day!  Lay low!” Imagine the emotional energy that kind of environment consumes.  The coll

At the turn of the year, many of us pause and look back. What worked?What didn’t?What are we proud of? What do we quietly wish had gone differently? Recently, I was talking with a CEO who shared a ritual they’d done around the Winter Solstice. They wrote down what they didn’t want to carry into the new year: habits, patterns, and weight they were ready to leave behind. Then they identified twelve wishes or intentions for the year ahead and burned one each day until New Year’s

It’s the holiday season, which means twinkle lights, plans, parties… and for many of us, pressure. Especially if you’re a "recovering perfectionist". This is the time of year when we want things to go exactly right, every meal on time, every gift thoughtful, every detail handled  just right . We tell ourselves, “It’s fine, I’ve got it,” while quietly holding our breath. And, in reality, we all know that somewhere, somehow, along the way, something won’t go as planned. We’ll f

When you step into a new leadership role, it can feel like drinking from a fire hose: names, systems, expectations, acronyms, timelines, and a hundred new things to learn "yesterday".  You often spend so much time feeling lost, uncertain, and behind.   And even when your heart is in the right place, your brain can only hold so much. I remember a moment early in my leadership journey, after stepping into a role that stretched me well beyond my comfort zone. In those early days

Recently, I opened up social media and the first story on my feed made me literally say out loud, “NO WAY!”   It was that kind of post: intriguing, outrageous, and just believable enough to catch my attention. So, like many of us do, I clicked. And, with my mind thinking, "this can't possibly be true!"... I decided to check Snopes. And, you guessed it, it was a lie. But here’s where it got interesting.  The second post? Also unbelievable - dishonest, divisive, and misleading

I remember a time I heard the words, “I’m disappointed in your leadership” from someone on my team. I felt them land in my chest like a punch.   They came from someone I respected deeply, which made them cut even deeper.  As someone who strives to be an intentional leader, I knew, in that moment, I had two choices: defend myself… or lead myself.   I took a breath and said,  "Would you be willing to share more?" And then I listened. I heard about the moments they had hoped fo

It’s been a year. 2025 has had some incredible highs and some pretty hard-hitting lows. I’m guessing I’m not alone in that. There’s been a LOT to juggle, a lot to carry, and plenty of reasons for big emotions. And so, during this week, I call Gratitude Week, I like to pause and  notice what’s good - what is going well, what makes my heart smile, what gives me hope... Ryan Seacrest has a segment on his radio show called “Tell Me Something Good,” and I love that idea. Not as a

The holidays are fast approaching, and that means parties, festivities, and time spent eating delicious food while talking about… well, everything. From co-workers’ spouses to distant relatives and in-laws, conversations can quickly drift into charged or uncomfortable territory. What starts as small talk can turn into strong opinions, awkward silences, or that familiar inner dialogue: “Don’t say it… don’t say it…” So how do you hold your own without losing your cool, or your

I was working with a leadership team recently when one of them sighed and said, “I feel like we’ve had this same conversation five times with no change. It’s like we’re just…camping out here.” And there it was, the perfect metaphor. Camping in leadership means we’ve pitched a tent around a tough conversation.We talk about it, circle around it, maybe even vent behind closed doors, but we’re not moving through it. There’s no resolution.No behavioral change.Just smoke, sitting

A CEO I coached once told me about an lesson they learned years ago.  A new hire who showed up excited, qualified, and ready to go. She completed her HR paperwork, toured the building, got handed a staff handbook, and was introduced to a few people.    Then she was left alone. By week two, she looked frazzled.  By week three, she was making repeated mistakes.  By week  four... she was gone. The leader justified that this new hire was competent and the leader, herself, was ove