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What’s a “Boss”?

I was recently having a conversation with a friend who’s supervisor clearly saw themselves as a “Boss” versus a “leader”. My friend’s morale is depleted and they are actively looking for a new job. It made me wonder about this supervisor… I also began to wonder about how often we pause to really consider our identity of ourselves as leader and how we want to be experienced in our leadership role.


When we are in a position of authority, it’s easy to accidentally fall into “Boss-like” behaviors of: micromanaging, criticism, expecting staff to read our minds, not remembering to be appreciative, and not being receptive to feedback or always “being right”. And yet, when we do that, we unconsciously cause significant harm to our reputation, relationships with our teams, and do damage to our workplace culture. 


Self-Aware Leadership is about showing up every day with purpose, clarity, and a commitment to growth—not only for yourself but for those you lead. It requires being fully present, understanding the impact of your actions, and creating an environment where trust and collaboration thrive. This style of leadership rejects “autopilot” decision-making and instead embraces mindful action, rooted in emotional intelligence and self-awareness. Self-Aware Leaders recognize their role as stewards of their team’s potential, cultivating a culture of empowerment, accountability, and innovation. 


Here are some Key Differences between a “Boss” Mindset and a Self-Aware Leader Mindset: 


1. Control vs. Empowerment


  • A BOSS operates with a mindset of authority, valuing control and compliance over autonomy. Their focus is on being in charge, often resulting in micromanagement or rigid structures.

  • A Self-Aware Leader empowers their team, understanding that success comes from shared ownership and leveraging the strengths of individuals. They encourage creativity and initiative.​

  • Reflection Question: How can I empower my team today by trusting their abilities and giving them more autonomy? 


2. Command vs. Connection


  • A BOSS prioritizes giving directives, often without understanding or addressing the emotional and relational needs of their team.

  • A Self-Aware Leader fosters connection, recognizing that authentic relationships are the foundation of a thriving workplace. They listen actively, practice empathy, and build trust.

  • ​ Reflection Question: What specific action can I take today to build a stronger connection with someone on my team? 

 

3. Ego vs. Humility


  • A BOSS may focus on maintaining an image of control and superiority, unwilling to admit mistakes or seek feedback.

  • A Self-Aware Leader embraces humility, seeing vulnerability as a strength. They invite feedback, acknowledge their fallibility, and demonstrate a commitment to continuous self-improvement.​

  • Reflection Question: When was the last time I admitted a mistake or sought feedback? How did it strengthen my leadership? 


  1. Short-Term Success vs. Long-Term Growth


  • A BOSS often prioritizes immediate results, sometimes at the cost of team morale, development, or sustainability.

  • A Self-Aware Leader focuses on the long game, investing in their team’s growth and creating systems that balance productivity with well-being.​

  • Reflection Question: What long-term goal or growth opportunity can I prioritize this week for my team? 


  1. Fear vs. Psychological Safety


  • A BOSS may lead through fear, creating an environment where mistakes are punished and risks are avoided.

  • A Self-Aware Leader fosters psychological safety, encouraging learning from failures and taking thoughtful risks. They create a culture where initiative is encouraged and where team members feel valued and supported.​

  • Reflection Question: How can I create a space today where my team feels safe to share ideas, take risks, or admit mistakes? 


Are you ready to take the next step in your Self-Aware Leadership journey? Start by reflecting on one challenge and implementing the actionable steps shared. Share your experiences or ask questions by getting in touch with me here. Let's learn and grow together!


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YOU MATTER!

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