Heads or Tails

I had a moment the other day that reminded me how quickly we can slip into a disempowered mindset without even noticing. I was reflecting on a challenge I had with a colleague—nothing major, just a miscommunication that left me feeling dismissed. I replayed the interaction, and the story I started to tell myself went something like: They don’t value my input. They probably think I’m too much. Maybe I shouldn’t speak up so often.

Sound familiar?

We all do it.We take a single moment, a glance, a tone of voice, and we craft an entire narrative. But here’s the thing: every coin has two sides. Heads or tails. We can see a moment as rejection or redirection. We can look at a challenge as a roadblock… or a detour to something different and likely better.

In Crucial Conversations, the authors talk about mastering our stories. They remind us that it’s not the facts alone that drive our emotions, it’s the story we tell ourselves about those facts. And those stories? We always have the opportunity to rewrite them!

Let’s be clear: I’m not talking about toxic positivity or pretending something didn’t hurt. I’m talking about pausing long enough to ask, “Is this the only version of the story?”Often, it’s not.

Maybe that colleague was distracted. Maybe they were having a hard day. Maybe the thing they dismissed wasn’t personal at all.

Or maybe… I’m making it bigger than it needs to be.

I’m not always a “glass half full” person by nature. I can spiral just like anyone else. But over time, I’ve learned that optimism isn’t about ignoring reality, it’s about reclaiming our power inside it.

Rewriting our stories doesn’t erase the facts. It just lets us stop handing our emotional remote control to someone else.

When we choose to shift the story, we gain:

• Emotional clarity

• A sense of agency

• A path forward

Here’s a simple practice I use when I feel myself spiraling:

1. Name the story I’m telling myself.

2. Ask, What else could be true?

3. Flip the coin—What’s the other side of this moment?

Sometimes just acknowledging that there is another side opens the door to possibility.

Whether you’re leading a team, a classroom, or just trying to lead yourself well today—your internal narrative matters. You set the tone not only for how you respond, but for the environment you help shape.

So the next time you find yourself staring down a tough moment, pause.

Heads or tails?

Because every moment has more than one meaning.

And you have the power to choose which side to live on.

Reflection Questions

• What story have I been telling myself lately that might be incomplete?

• What’s one situation I could revisit and “flip the coin” on?

• How does my internal narrative shape how I show up for others?

• What would change if I chose a more empowering version of the story?

• Who do I want to be in the middle of this moment?

Let’s Stay Connected

If this resonated with you, I’d love to hear your story.

Drop a comment, share it with someone who might need it today—or connect with me at tessabrock.com for more conversations about self-aware leadership, communication, and what it means to lead with both heart and clarity.

You matter. Keep flipping the coin. 💛