Recently I had the pleasure of meeting a co-worker's children. I took the opportunity to tell her children how much their mom loved them and how much she gushed about them at work. They smiled and after a few minutes, we went our separate ways.
The next day, the co-worker came up to me and thanked me for my beautiful comment to her children. She shared that the whole way home, her children asked if what I had said was true, if she truly DID talk positively about them all the time at work. She said the conversation the ENTIRE way home allowed her the opportunity to express the depth of how much she loved them, was proud of them, and bragged about them at work. She shared my simple comment had facilitated a priceless gift to her and her children.
This reminded me of how much we ALL want to get positive feedback - whether we want it announced over the loudspeaker, or a quiet hand-written note, we all want to hear , "Well done! You worked hard on that! That was Awesome!"... any message that says, "I see you!" Not everyone wants to be publicly acknowledged so sometimes it's best to do it privately... however it is my firm belief that most people who work hard feel validated when their efforts are noticed and appreciated.
I had a friend years ago who made it a point to talk positively about others in a way that ensured it would get back to them. She called it, "Second Hand Compliments". She always believed it meant more to someone to know that someone took the time to tell someone ELSE about what a great job they had done - perhaps it felt more genuine to her.
Regardless of how we do it, I believe as Self-Aware Leaders, we can all benefit from talking about people (positively) either to their face or "behind their backs". :)
As you move forward:
Set your sights to look for what you appreciate in and about others and seek out what can be positively highlighted as successes. Then create time to share this important feedback with them.
Similarly, look for times and opportunities to share when someone was being talked about (positively) "behind their backs". Find occasions to share "second hand compliments" to build up and empower others.
So often we forget to pause and say these things out loud. Look for what you can appreciate and tell someone. And, if you hear it, share it.
I have a treasured shirt that says, "Lift others while you rise". May that be how we all move through our days!
YOU MATTER!