Worse Than a Shark Bite

Have you ever played the game Apples to Apples?

It’s one of those card games where someone flips over a word (like “adorable” or “disastrous”) and the rest of the players throw down cards from their hand that they think best match. The catch? You often have to defend your answer—no matter how ridiculous.

I remember playing with some loved ones when the word “GROUCHY” hit the table. I scanned the cards in my hand for options, and confidently played the card “Shark Bite.” I mean, come on, if you got bitten by a shark, wouldn’t you be just a TAD bit grouchy?

Everyone threw in their cards and we all took turns explaining our choices. But then, a family member tossed out “Career Change” with a smirk, looked right at me, and said: “No offense, Tia Tessa… but I think a career change sometimes makes you grouchy.”

I pushed back, playfully, and asked, “But WORSE than a SHARK BITE???” My loved ones laughed and the “Career Change” card won the round! We all burst out laughing, because let’s be honest, there was a little truth in the tease.

Honestly, I’d been carrying a lot of pressure. Stress. Uncertainty. Constant decision-making. And while I wasn’t stomping around or snapping at people, I could feel the fog of stress showing up in other ways, less patience, less presence, and a lot more internal noise.

We know stress makes us grouchy, but the “why” comes down to the brain. When we’re under sustained pressure, our prefrontal cortex (the part of our brain that helps with empathy, patience, and good decisions) gets hijacked by the survival brain. One of those consequences of this hijack can be decision fatigue. It’s when your mental bandwidth is so maxed out that even minor things, like deciding what to eat or what to wear… even a text tone or someone chewing too loudly, can make you want to scream into a pillow.

When we don’t name that stress or notice it… It seeps into our tone. It hijacks our leadership. It becomes a personality we didn’t mean to adopt.

Here’s the truth: You can be tired. You can be navigating hard transitions. You can even be in the messy middle of building something brand new.

AND you still don’t get a “pass” on how you treat people.

This doesn’t mean perfection.

It means awareness.

It means saying, “I’m stretched thin today—thank you for being patient.”It means pausing before the sarcastic jab.It means checking your tone when you walk into the room and realizing your people are reading more from your body language than your calendar.

Unspoken stress can slowly turn into your default setting – then a grouchy version of you that your team learns to tiptoe around. Or worse…starts to mimic.

Self Reflection:

1. When I’m under pressure, what are the subtle signs that I’m not showing up as my best self?

2. Who in my life has permission to give me honest feedback—even when it stings?

3. What emotions am I unintentionally leaking into my tone, posture, or energy lately?

4. What’s one “reset ritual” I can lean on this week to pause the bite before it comes out?

5. If my team had to play Apples to Apples about me right now… what card would they play?

Get in touch here—I’d love to hear your answers! Self-aware leadership isn’t about never getting stressed. It’s about noticing when your bite is showing, not making excuses, and doing something about it.

YOU MATTER!