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The Other Side of Me

Recently someone did something that hurt and offended me. Every ounce of me wanted to lash out, be ugly, and tell them EXACTLY what I thought and felt! Luckily, I was able to pause and let my higher self prevail. Phew!!


As many of you know, I'm Queen of having mantras or sayings to help me towards being the person I want to be when my brain wants to explode. :) One of my favorite mantras is "What's it like to be on the Receiving End of me". This helps me to remember there is a human being on the other side of me and that this person does not deserve to be trashed just because I'm hurt, offended, or don't agree wholeheartedly. All humans deserve to be treated with dignity and respect. 

 

Being able to hold my tongue, self-regulate, and pause takes intentionality and practice. I WISH I could tell you I always nail it! :) I notice, some relationships/people are easier (and harder) than others to make this happen. However, the goal is always present - and the human being on the other side of me deserves my intentionality! Just because I'm mad, hurt, or activated, does not give me the right to lash out and be hurtful. 

 

When we embrace Self-Aware Leadership (TM), there are some key strategies that support us when we are wanting to be mindful of the HUMAN on the other side of me:



  • "I Choose Relationship": Yet another mantra for helping me remember we value this person more than we value "being right".

  • Am I looking for what's right or looking for what's wrong?: This allows us to pause and ask how open-minded and optimistic we are being? Are we choosing to be stuck and negative, or are we looking for ways to be open and find possibility?

  • How can I acknowledge and diffuse this moment?: Instead of lashing out, sometimes we can seek to understand that the reason we are IN this moment is because the OTHER person is activated and we are responding to THEIR energy. When we can notice that dynamic, we can sometimes quickly regulate and acknowledge what we believe they are experiencing or paraphrase their point of view. Oftentimes they will calm. This allows us to get back to being productive in our communication. 



We can't always be the best versions of ourselves, but we can continue to try to be better than we were yesterday. :) 

 


My hope is that when challenges arise in our professional or personal relationships that we do better each day, remembering there is a human being on the other side of us who deserves dignity, respect, and compassion - no matter how upset we are with them. Be patient with yourself and remember, this can be H-A-R-D! We are ALL a work in progress. Stay the course!


YOU MATTER!


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