Slow Down, You Go Too Fast

I remember a moment years ago, early on in my working relationship with a new team member. They had come to me, clearly wanting to process something important. I was in “support mode”… You know the one: I nodded, leaned in, and immediately started offering insight and ideas. 

I thought I was being helpful. 

Supportive. 

Proactive.

But instead of walking away with clarity and confidence, they walked away feeling unheard and disempowered.

That was NOT my goal.

As I looked back, I realized what I missed: I had skipped the listening part. Not surface-level listening, but the kind that holds space without filling it. The kind that’s slow, curious, and grounded. The kind that helps someone feel seen before they ever ask for input and asks questions to help them find their own brilliance and insights. 

In my eagerness to help and have something to contribute, to unconsciously prove my worth, I jumped the gun, and it cost us trust and their sense of competence. 

Sometimes our desire to be helpful is actually what sabotages our helpfulness. We want to solve, guide, or fix. But if we’re not careful, we trade connection for control and presence for performance.

As a Self-Aware Leader, here’s the truth I’m still evolving within:

• Being helpful doesn’t mean being quick to have an answer.

• Being wise doesn’t mean always offering advice.

• And being a leader doesn’t mean always having the answers.

Often, the most helpful thing we can do is listen, fully and slowly, without trying to steer the moment.

Let them arrive at their own clarity. Let silence stretch a little. Let curiosity take the lead.

Because when people feel seen and heard, they find their own power—and that’s where the real magic happens.

A few reflection questions to take with you:

• When was the last time I listened without preparing a response?

• Do I confuse being helpful with being quick to have insights or solutions?

• What would happen if I slowed down and let the other person lead?

  
  

Slow down, friend. You don’t have to move fast to make an impact.

YOU MATTER!