Please Pass the Gravy

The holidays are fast approaching, and that means parties, festivities, and time spent eating delicious food while talking about… well, everything.

From co-workers’ spouses to distant relatives and in-laws, conversations can quickly drift into charged or uncomfortable territory. What starts as small talk can turn into strong opinions, awkward silences, or that familiar inner dialogue: “Don’t say it… don’t say it…”

So how do you hold your own without losing your cool, or your connection?Here are five self-aware strategies to help you navigate the season with both confidence and kindness.

1. Know Your Non-Negotiables  

Before the gathering begins, decide what you’re not willing to debate.If certain topics drain your energy or escalate tension, give yourself permission to opt out gracefully. Phrases like, “That’s a big topic for another time,” or “Let’s agree to enjoy tonight without solving the world’s problems,” protect your boundaries without fueling conflict.

2. Regulate Before You Respond  

When emotions rise, your body reacts before your words do.Take a breath. Drop your shoulders. Remind yourself: You don’t have to attend every argument you’re invited to.Your calm presence can shift the tone of an entire table.

3. Lead with Curiosity, Not Combat  

If you do engage in a charged conversation, replace judgment with curiosity.Try, “That’s interesting, tell me more about how you see it,” instead of “That’s not true.”

Curiosity keeps dialogue open, protects relationships, and models emotional intelligence.

4. Match Energy with Intention  

We tend to mirror the tone we receive. If someone is defensive, soften your tone. If someone is hurt, listen more than you speak.

You don’t have to agree, but you can respond with dignity. Your goal is NOT to "win" the conversation, it’s to leave both people, and the relationship, intact.

5. End on Connection  

Even if you disagree, end interactions with kindness. A simple, “I’m glad we talked, I always appreciate hearing your perspective,” keeps doors open for future connection.

The same applies in professional settings. Whether it’s a work holiday party or a team potluck, self-aware leaders protect relationships by staying grounded, respectful, and warm, even when others are not.

Reflection Questions  

• What conversations tend to push my buttons during the holidays?

• How can I set gentle boundaries without disengaging completely?

• What tone do I want people to feel when they leave an interaction with me?

Connection doesn’t mean agreeing on everything, it means choosing presence over performance and curiosity over control.

You matter. Especially when you keep peace without losing yourself. 💛

Some of our clients have reached out because they still have funds available in their training budgets and don’t want those dollars to go unused. We’ve been helping them make the most of that remaining budget and even get a head start on their 2026 initiatives.  I wanted to check in with you as well and see if you’re in a similar position. If so, I’d be happy to talk through a few ideas on how we can support you and help you put those funds to good use.