Just Say SOMETHING!

I was recently thinking about a moment when I completely missed the boat and created a much messier interaction than was necessary.

Someone on my team had reached out with a thoughtful, vulnerable message. They had taken a risk to express how something was landing for them - not in a dramatic way, but with clarity and care. I read their message, appreciated their honesty, and mentally noted, “I want to make sure I respond well to this.”

But the days got full. Other priorities took over.... and, regretfully, I never replied.

No harm was intended, of course. But when we finally did connect, I could feel the shift in our connection. Their energy was more guarded. Their openness had cooled. And honestly, I don’t blame them. My silence had left a gap. And in that gap, their brain probably filled in a story about what my silence meant: "Maybe she didn’t care...Maybe she didn’t agree...Maybe my input didn’t land the way I hoped."

None of that was true. But I hadn’t said anything to counter their thoughts either, so how would they know? 

And that’s the problem.

Unfortunately, we’ve all probably been there... An email sits unread for days. A heartfelt comment goes unanswered. A suggestion in a meeting floats by without acknowledgment.

And what happens next? Silence.

But silence is not neutral. It says something, even when we don’t mean for it to. And most of the time, the story the other person tells themselves in that silence is far from generous.

"They must not care."

"I guess my thoughts didn’t matter."

"I probably overstepped."

As humans, we are "story making machines" so our brains are wired to fill in the blanks. When there’s no response, we create one, often based on insecurity, past experiences, or fear. Silence becomes a breeding ground for assumption, and those assumptions can rupture trust, stall collaboration, and damage relationships that never needed to be damaged. All because we neglected to respond. 

The important thing to remember is that we don’t need perfect words. We don’t need a polished, buttoned-up reply. We just need to say something.

Even a quick: 

• “Thanks for sharing this, I need a little time to think it through.” or

• “I see your message and I’m not ignoring it. Let me circle back soon.” or

• “Your thoughts matter to me. I’ll respond more fully when I can give it the attention it deserves.”

That’s it. That’s what builds trust.

Because when someone takes the time to share something with you, an idea, a concern, a vulnerable thought, they’re taking a risk. They’re opening a door. And our job as teammates, leaders, and human beings is to see them and meet them there.

You don’t have to say it perfectly. But silence says too much. Just Say SOMETHING.

Reflection Question:

Is there someone in your work world waiting on a response, or maybe just a sign that they were heard? Take one minute today to send that message. It doesn’t have to be perfect, it just has to be real.

*I'd love to hear how saying something helped strengthen your relationship with a colleague or friend! CLICK HERE to send me a quick update! 

YOU MATTER!