I was recently in a meeting where a new initiative was being addressed. The leader was working hard to articulate the benefits and challenges of the new process. An employee raised their hand, and spewed out, "Why do we have to do this? Why is this OUR job? Why can't someone ELSE do this??" The negativity in the room spread like wildfire in a dry desert. I watched the leader, and then others, attempt to do damage control as the group became riled up. It was a difficult moment that had a lasting effect.
This experience reminded me of the importance of the choices we make when we hear information and have strong opinions - when we reach a Fork in the Road. We have moments where we have two choices:
1) To be our automatic, unconscious, negative, and critical selves; or
2) To pause, self reflect, and express ourselves intentionally and professionally.
This is not an easy task - however, the consequences of the direction we choose are monumental. When we come to a "Fork in the Road":
∙ Do we choose to be negative, critical, and judgemental?
∙ Alternatively, we can be curious, empowering, and professional
This does NOT mean we need to hold our tongues. It IS important to be able to speak up, ask questions, and express yourself. However, when and how we do this matters!
Think back on a "Fork in the Road" moment you have experienced:
∙ How much more effective would this conversation have been if you had paused and regulated yourself before blurting out your objections?
∙ How might you have effectively rephrased your concerns in a way that started with, "I'm feeling confused about... ", or "Could you help me understand..."?
∙ How might the situation have been different if you had paused a moment and listened more rather than jumping in before the full initiative had been explained?
∙ How might the conversation have changed or expanded if you had considered what it would be like to be on the receiving end of these attacks?
∙ What would have happened if you had chosen to address the leader quietly and privately to seek clarification?
Our fears, frustrations, and lack of understanding can cause us to have knee-jerk reactions. However, when we notice we are having this impulse, how can we pause, breathe, and ask, "How can I take the high road in this moment?"
May you continue to notice when Forks in the Road arise and may you choose the next best step.
YOU MATTER!