Did I Squash You?

I was driving through a neighborhood the other day when something caught my eye.

A lizard.

Right in the middle of the road.

Doing push-ups.

(I know. It sounds like the start of a joke. But stay with me.)

I slowed down and gently veered to the right, doing my best to avoid him. But just as I got close, he panicked. He darted, not away from danger, but straight into it. Right under my tire.

When I looked in my rearview mirror, I saw what I was hoping I wouldn’t.

He didn’t make it.

And in that tiny, strange, sad moment, I immediately thought of leadership.

It occurred to me that I wasn’t trying to hurt the lizard: I noticed him. I adjusted for him. I had every good intention.

But he still got squashed.

And isn’t that sometimes what happens in leadership?

We mean well.

We make decisions.

We move quickly.

We try to protect and guide and get where we’re going.

But someone on our team feels steamrolled, overlooked, or misunderstood.

We didn’t intend to cause harm, yet something we said or did landed wrong.

The path we chose frightened someone. 

Or made them feel small. 

Or left them behind.

We don’t always get to see the impact of our actions right away. But when we do, it can stop us in our tracks. In that moment on the road, I felt sad. For the lizard, yes, but also for the times I’ve “squashed” someone else’s confidence, ideas, or contributions without ever realizing it.

It reminded me that Self-Aware Leadership isn’t just about intention, it’s about awareness.

It’s about asking:

• Did I slow down enough?

• Did I communicate clearly?

• Did I give them space to move?

• Did my good intentions match the experience they had?

Another thing about that lizard?

He was tiny. I was in a full-sized SUV.

The size difference was staggering.

That’s what power looks like in leadership.

We forget how “big” we are. How much influence we carry. And how easily we can flatten someone’s sense of safety, creativity, or voice, without meaning to.

So What Do We Do With That?

We stay humble.

We pay attention to the rearview mirror.

We ask more questions.

We invite feedback.

We keep checking—not just where we’re going, but who we’re impacting as we move forward.

Reflection Questions

• When was the last time I considered the unintended impact of my leadership?

• Have I ever "squashed" someone’s idea, energy, or confidence without realizing it?

• How can I build more pauses into my leadership, to notice, to ask, to adjust?

• Who might need reassurance or repair from me this week?

• What does it look like to lead with intention and awareness?

I'd love to hear your perspective in the comments (or you can send me a message HERE.)

You Matter!