Are You Camping?

I was working with a leadership team recently when one of them sighed and said, “I feel like we’ve had this same conversation five times with no change. It’s like we’re just…camping out here.”

And there it was, the perfect metaphor.

Camping in leadership means we’ve pitched a tent around a tough conversation.We talk about it, circle around it, maybe even vent behind closed doors, but we’re not moving through it.

There’s no resolution.No behavioral change.Just smoke, sitting still, and hoping something shifts on its own.

The problem? Stagnant conversations create stagnant teams.

The Two Extremes: Camp or Hammer

When we’re not navigating difficult conversations with clarity and courage, we usually fall into one of two camps (pun intended):

1. Camping: When are trying to be nice and keep the peace, we end up avoiding, repeating, over-processing, and circling around the true issue. It feels like:

• “We’ve talked about this before…”

• “They should know by now.”

• “I don’t want to be too harsh.”

  
  

2. Hammering: When we've reached our limit so we respond by overcorrecting with intensity, sharpness, or authority. It feels like:

• “I’ve had enough.”

• “They’re not getting it, so I’ll drive it in harder.”

• “I’ll make sure this lands.”

  
  

Neither approach fosters trust or accountability.One stalls. One stings.

 What Self-Aware Leaders Do Instead

1. Notice Your Pattern

• Am I avoiding or overpowering?

• Naming this with honesty is the first shift. Self-aware leaders pause long enough to reflect on how they’re approaching hard conversations, not just what they’re saying.

2. Get Curious with the Other Person

• Instead of repeating yourself, ask “I’ve noticed we keep circling the same issue. What’s getting in the way of change?”  This opens the door to dialogue, not just direction.

3. Be Specific About Expectations and Agreements

• Clarity creates movement. Don’t assume shared understanding, confirm it out loud.

• Replace generalities with clear commitments:  “What we’re agreeing to is ___. This matters because ___.”

4. Create and Conduct Progressive Accountability

Accountability isn’t punishment, it’s progress.  

• If nothing changes, what’s the next step? How will we follow up?

• Sometimes that includes offering support, not just consequences.

• Can you provide training, mentorship, or coaching?

Build a path forward that includes clarity and care.

5. Schedule Specific Check-Ins

• Put it on the calendar. Follow through.

• Don’t wait for a flare-up, track the follow-up.

• Let them know you’re paying attention, not hovering, but holding the process with intention.

Reflection Questions

• Am I currently camping around an unresolved conversation?

• Have I been avoiding or overcorrecting?

• What would it look like to approach this with clarity, curiosity, and consistency?

• Who can help me reflect and stay accountable as a leader?

  
  

Let’s Stay Connected

You don’t have to camp. You don’t have to hammer. There is a better way.

If you’re ready to shift from repetition to resolution, let’s talk.Visit tessabrock.com for tools and trainings to help you lead with clarity, courage, and consistency.

You matter- especially when you lead the conversation forward. 💛

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